usually first impression s'kin mataray,masungit and the likes..uhm,sad to say totoo un kc hndi ako msyadong sociable unless there's something in one person that i really like..sbi ng mga close s'kin good listener dw ako but i think im better in ignoring what they are saying pero when i feel n kylangn mo tlga ng mkikinig sau game ako lalo n kung nkakarelate ako s topic mo..'yoko s mga self-proclaimed..those who say a lot 'bout themselves (who cares 'bout them,anyway?) hehehe..trip ko mga humorous kc moody ako..another thing 'bout me is ung temper ko..uhm,it's always at the edge, u knw what i mean..if u nid 2 knw more basahin mo mga testi s'kin kc im sure they say a lot of things 'bout me.. :]
I was about to doze off again when my phone rang. Unknown landline number. Ah, might be from the GS. After i picked up, the woman on the other end of the line started talking about an interview.
I'm scheduled to have an interview. On Tuesday. At the Conference Room.
When my hazy mind processed the information, i realized that she was almost talking nonsense. Who's on the line?? What interview??
I politely let her finish and then asked where she is calling from. Then i got it.
It was from the Institute of Plant Breeding. One of the offices that i dropped my application letter, resume and transcript of records at. I saw the ad last week about a vacant item. Last week, when i was still lost and directionless.
It was research. Yet, i passed the requirements for the application. It was an item..a permanent position under the OVCRE of UPLB. It was almost worth being locked up in their laboratories while enjoying the privileges of being permanently employed in the university.
Yet again, i have to turn it down..it was just an interview, yes..i might not be accepted, who knows?? But im pretty good at interviews. My apologies for being too confident. I know they'll get me.
So there, i explained and shut off the possibility of a permanent job..i felt like shit for a while..but then i remembered my long-term goal..i have to improve myself and be employed not as a reseacher but an educator in my alma mater. I know i have to study again.
Learn more..i convinced myself..but i could not stop pacing back and forth inside my room. I decided to get out and breathe some fresh air. And at the Garden Show my feet brought me.
I dont really admire small plants. I love trees more. But i got to see something new. I walked around though uninterested. Leaves. Fruits. Flowers. Everything is so feminine. Argh.
Then i got to this small area where my eyes were caught by cute little plants. They were so relaxing to stare at. They were in clumps and were very inviting to the eyes. I asked the person in charge what the plants were.
Lo and behold!! They were Selaginella! Gulp.
I faked a smile, hiding my guilt. Oh! Where did my brains hide?? Eaten by zombies perhaps.
I continued going around and bought a cactus and a bromeliad. Easy to grow, yes.
I was almost tempted to go around again just to satisfy my eyes. Though colorful flowers wither, seeing nature provides calmness and you tend to breathe them in deeply..thus, before i start wheezing and sneezing, i went my way out of the place.
Excerpt12Oct2009: "Welcome aboard!" says the Graduate School..
Excerpt12Oct2009: "Welcome aboard!" says the Graduate School..
The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and ends up writing another. -James Matthew Barrie
When i woke up this morning, i thought that everything would be the same as the past week of my successful bumming career. Supposed to be it was..since i had no immediate concern to attend to outside the comfort of my room. Everything aside from continuously reading "The Time Traveler's Wife" could be taken cared of tomorrow or on the next days or weeks. Lying contented, i continued reading attentively about the time traveling business of the characters, and all the while unmindful that my own time has gone by with every page i flipped..and again, it was already past noon.
I halfheartedly let go of the book and pushed myself to take a bath, which gave me a clearer head afterwards. I decided to go around the campus and take some sneak peaks of whoever's whatabouts. Intentionally though, there was only one person i was interested to pay a visit.
So i stepped my way towards that very familiar office and luckily found Dr. R free of any appointments. Unsure of what i was to tell her, i opened the door and greeted her with a smile. She smiled back warmly and was not able to hide the enthusiasm on her opening line, "Kumusta?inlove na inlove ka o!" It was evident that she's teasing me. I just dismissed the approaching intrigue attack by saying "Ma'am naman.." half-childishly. She asked me to take a sit and when i did, the series of questions about my career were thrown at me..options were laid..but at the end of the list, i was given the only profitable choice which i had to take if i really wanted to be her someday..study again and become her apprentice.
Several phone calls were made which took about 15 minutes all in all. She said she was fast-tracking everything. I was told to go to the Graduate School and i did..still shocked about the quick-spinned decision i made.
What am i getting into? I asked my confused self. And on the short walking time on my way to GS, my stomach tighten into a knot remembering all the horrors of being a student stuck inside a classroom with the noise of the lesson ringing mercilessly inside and out of my solar system. Yes, it was very scary..and i almost stopped to return myself back away from the immediate situation..but it needed to be faced and im not turning back that soon. I consoled myself that if i really needed to escape from it, i will be able to. It has always been the case anyway; spotted: shara getting out of her own mess!
The GS dean, Dr. Z, was very considerate and as supportive as Dr. R. He gave me an overview of the processing of my very very very late application (the deadline was actually three and a half months ago). The bottomline, i have to talk to the head of Microbiology Division and ask her to evaluate my papers as soon as it arrive so that i can make it on the first day of classes on November 9..yes, it's that soon.
It would have been easier if the MCBD Head was not Dr. V..but she is. Dr. R said that i have no choice but to talk to Dr. V. Holy cow! The dreadful MCB130 days flashed inside my head..and they were still dreadful..and the worst was the Kanamycin scandal..
"Nagsayang ka na nga, mali pa ginawa mo..ang mahal pa naman ng Kanamycin.." I wasn't on my right self that day. She shouldn't have used that very insulting tone because it made me hate her as much as i hated my BIO120lect teacher. Not contented, she twisted the knife a little deeper by adding, "Magbasa nga kayo ng manual bago pumasok, kasi walang silbi e..sana di nyo nalang pinaphotocopy.." Right. I shouldn't have photocopied that cursed manual. I never brought it to classes anyway.
On my way to Dr. V's office, i tried rehearsing some humble yet convincing lines but decided to stop because i know i wouldn't be able to say it when i came face to face with her. I concentrated on calming myself instead.
It was just an hour since i left my room and yet a whole new lot was laid for me..and it was more than what i can process..so much that i have forgotten that i still had not eaten lunch yet..but feeling hungry was the least priority in that moment.
I reached Dr. V's office and upon seeing me, she smiled broadly, "Oh, Shara!" Ah, she remembered of course..her beloved source of error during MCB130lab experiments. Argh. It was now or next year. I chose now.
I started by greeting her "Hi Ma'am!"..and i took the sear she offered. Honestly, i was so surprised by her kind welcome. And due to that surprise, confusion, shock and yes, excitement, words stumbled out of me. She didn't understand my first incoherent try. She told me to breathe first and then explain calmly. So i did. And oh dear! I got her approval with all the smile! She said that the GS could process my application and I will be evaluated as soon as the papers arrive at MCBD. I sincerely thanked her then headed for the door and just then another teacher entered, smiled and blurted out..
Dr. L: Shara! Sa BIOTECH ka pa?? Shara: Um..hindi na po..katatapos lang po ng contract. Dr. L: Aaah..o kumusta? kumusta lovelife? kumusta kayo ni ***? kwento naman! Shara: Uhh..hehe ma'am naman..next time..palagi naman na ata akong nandito ulit e..
Whew! How can they be so interested with my half-private life? Oh well..i committed myself with him..and commitment to intrigues followed. He's such a star. Tsk. No worries. Nothing i can't handle so far.
I came back to Dr. R's office and gave her the form which she would have to accomplish to seal that i'll be her apprentice and she'll be my mentor. It was so cool. To think that i have dreamt of being like her someday. Here's my stepping stone, though it won't be very easy for me. The next five months will surely feel like hell but i believe that i'll get by. I won't let myself fall out of stress.
The world is tough, but i know im tougher..and soon, i'll have my own name to be more proud of.
first sunday without the exhausting thought that the next day would be the first day of work for the week..yet again, there was no need for me to remind myself that i already have no job waiting for me on monday..i already spent a lot of time last night thinking about how it will be for me for the coming days that the pressure of waking up early has already vanished. not that im missing biotech already..it wont happen..i just cant imagine myself assuming every weekday as if it is weekend with somebody absent.
and for today, i decided to answer to one of my friends' request that i donate blood and save lives..so after getting out of bed, i took a quick shower and headed to where they were..still with bedmarks..argh.
i was the last donor..after i filled up the necesarry papers and finished the basic physical examination, it began..it was the panicky feeling that makes me want to back out and go away from the huge needle and blood bag, not to mention the one who will draw blood from me..
it took me a while to convince myself more that i can do it..that i will not die after whatever will happen..it was my first time to donate blood so it was not easy for me. i thought i'll pass out. i was already drawing more attention than necesarry so i decided to settle down and allow myself to breathe in a calm-what-may manner.
then it came..the needle was so huge, i remember the one we're using for drawing blood from sheep for making blood agar. we usually require 25ml of blood for 300ml agar..though i did not experience drawing it myself, i visualized how it was for the sheep..poor little creature..and i got a 450ml blood bag to fill..poor shara..
it seemed forever..a big needle injected to my right arm which is connected to a transparent bag which seemed bottomless..i was not able to really look at the setup..i might collapse..all i could see was the paleness of my other palm..all i could feel was the stinging sensation on the sacrificed arm..all i could hear was my friend commenting on how pale i looked that i might need a blood transfusion afterwards.
they gave me a stress reliever so as to avoid blood clotting..i have to press it while the tube continually sucks on my blood..and my goodness! it was an added burden. i was trembling!
but then again, after 800 years, it was finished. the blood bag was full and the needle was separated from my agonizing right arm.
i donated blood and i saved lives..
and i know it will take another century for me to be convinced to do it again..
shara vs. 37 trying-hard VIPs.. err.. some of them are hypocrites. some are not. some of them lurk in the darkest recesses of biotech. some do not. some of them are smokers. some are not. some of them are concerned. some are not.
basta iba-iba sila. may ibang nagsuggest kung san pwede mag-apply. may ibang nagbigay ng calling cards for other job opportunities. may ibang humingi ng contact address and number in case kelangan nila ng micro. may ibang nanlibre. may ibang nagtanong para mangulit lang o maki-tsismis.
at may isang NR..pumirma lang sya..hindi nya nga ako halos tiningnan e..pero nag-thank you pa rin ako syempre.."thank you for your insignificant existence..adios!"
