|
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
|
|
|
BLOGMATES
JOURNAL ENTRIES
SITE CREDITS
This site is Reishin's,
images©Couchart,
and©Night Frost,
brushes©Forbiddenfire,
layout made by: Dita
UTF-8
http://cracker23.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default
audentes fortuna juvat: November 2008
ABOUT ME:
chalkleight
chalkleight
Los Banos, Laguna, Philippines
usually first impression s'kin mataray,masungit and the likes..uhm,sad to say totoo un kc hndi ako msyadong sociable unless there's something in one person that i really like..sbi ng mga close s'kin good listener dw ako but i think im better in ignoring what they are saying pero when i feel n kylangn mo tlga ng mkikinig sau game ako lalo n kung nkakarelate ako s topic mo..'yoko s mga self-proclaimed..those who say a lot 'bout themselves (who cares 'bout them,anyway?) hehehe..trip ko mga humorous kc moody ako..another thing 'bout me is ung temper ko..uhm,it's always at the edge, u knw what i mean..if u nid 2 knw more basahin mo mga testi s'kin kc im sure they say a lot of things 'bout me.. :]
https://www.blogger.com/profile/15896205344583116855
Friday, November 28, 2008
Mansari.
Mansari.
Sa loob ng isang buwan (30 o 31 araw), alam mong marami ka nang pwedeng gawin. Sa sitwasyon mo ngayon, aba di ako makapaniwalang isang buwan ka na rin palang ganyan.
Isang buwan ka nang nagtatrabaho. Sa kabila ng kakulangan mo ng interes sa field na yan (Research) ng field mo (Microbiology), akalain mong isang buwan na ang lumipas..bilib ako sa’yo!
Isang buwan mo nang pinipilit ang sarili mong bumangon nang maaga; humanda sa pagpasok, tumawid sa pedestrian lanes, umakyat sa bus, umupo at tumingin sa labas ng bintana, maghintay ng walong minuto, bumaba at pumunta sa opisina/lab..at hindi ka pa rin sanay??
Isang buwan mo nang tinitiis ang pag-upo maghapon (kapag walang labworks); lampasan ng pare-parehong mukha, tumitig sa kalendaryo at salamin..at walang tigil kang nanghihinayang sa mga oras ng buhay mong alam mong nasasayang, nang wala kang kalaban-laban, dahil naipit ka sa isang nakakabagot na trabaho..kawawa!
Isang buwan mo nang niloloko ang sarili mong gusto mo ang trabahong yan..bingi ka na sa mga sarili mong reklamo..at sawa ka na sa muli’t muli mong panloloko sa sarili mo na ang pagkukunwaring yan ang daan sa iyong tagumpay..gudlak nalang.
Isang buwan mo nang paborito ang 4:50pm dahil yan ang oras ng pag-uwi sa hapon – upang mabigyan ka ng pagkakataong maging mas totoo sa iyong sarili; makakita ng mga taong kasing-edad mo, makipagkwentuhan sa mga kaibigan, magpunta sa mga lugar na mas nakakapagpahinga ka kesa sa sarili mong kama..maramdaman ang kalayaan sa paglalabas ng totoong nararamdaman, maging bata muli sa loob ng kaunting oras bago matulog..at hindi kita masisi.
Isang buwan ka nang windang sa mga kantyaw tungkol sa “totoo” mo raw na rason ng pagpayag na makulong sa lugar na yan..naiintindihan kita, at naiintindihan ko sila.
Isang buwan ka nang nagtatanong sa sarili ng “Tama ba talaga ang desisyon ko?” ..o pinairal mo lang ang tigas ng ulo?
Hanggang kailan ka kaya tatagal?
Putting another sensible adventure into my life is a thrill itself.
I just had one of the biggest realizations of my life. I already have this professional image that I wanted myself to be in the future..as intelligently influenced by the people I came to know in the past years.
Thinking about every possible profession in the world, I found out that everyone does his part in saving lives..may it be those of the plants, or of the animals, including humans. So it came to me that I should have my own way of saving lives too.
And thank God for this second weekend of hibernation-slash-meditation. I already found myself a niche.
Given that I have dreamt of doing so many things, I arrived into this concrete image that would surely give me the satisfaction of still doing everything that I have dreamt of..and from this day onwards, everything that I will do is towards that goal..towards that successful future.
To reach those dreams is to dare to fail..and every morning starting tomorrow, instead of complaining about the alarm, I’ll begin the day by picturing myself as that one which I imagined myself to be..and I won’t stop until that day when I become that person.
Can I ask for an extra 30 minutes on my 7th hour of the morning?
It’s a crappy morning when you’re given just an hour to snooze your alarm once more, to drink the usual types and amount of liquid, to eat breakfast, to observe oral health, to take a rushed bath, to stop your now longer hair from dripping, to fix yourself, and to run for the bus which will give you the eight-minute ride to your working place – one hour to get yourself ready to face the dreadful eight hours of boring work..
Wouldn’t it be justice if you have that extra 30 minutes? To do some stretches after the last snooze of the alarm so that you’ll feel a little livelier, to appreciate the taste of what you’re drinking and eating, to think of when the eruption of the most awaited 1st wisdom tooth will be, to stop mistaking shampoo for conditioner and vice versa, to comb and dry your now longer hair, to fix yourself up some more, and to avoid stepping on dead cockroaches on the road while crossing the faded yellow pedestrian lane on the run for your way to the bus which will give you the eight-minute ride to your working place – an extra 30 minutes to lessen the haste and level up the grace of your movements in getting yourself ready to face the dreadful eight hours of boring work..
There’s no use whining over my new mornings now and comparing them from those of my undergrad days during when I can snooze the alarm a hundred times and forget everything that follows. Right, I have no reason to complain. God has given me enough time..just enough time for me to remember everything that I have to do before facing the eight hours of boring work..
“Uwi ba yan ng isang matinong babae?”
Nahirapan akong barahin ang mga salitang yan kagabi. Habang hawak ang cellphone, kunwari nalang may binabasa akong message nung papalapit sa kanila.^_~
Muntik na ‘kong magmano kina kuya koy, may anne, ionna, ellen at ayen – ang mga taong kinasanayan ko nang datnan sa bago kong tirahan ngayon. Nasasanay na rin siguro sila sa oras ng pag-uwi ko. Kadalasan dadating ako sa gabi at makikita ko silang nagkkwentuhan na sa receiving area ng dorm. Minsan naman e nakauwi na sila, di pa ako dumadating.
Naku naman, matino ako ‘no. Palaboy nga lang. Ewan nga ba kung bakit ang hirap para sa ‘kin na umuwi nang maaga. Kahit napapagod ako sa labworks (yeah, labworks! Minsan may ginagawa na ‘ko sa biotech ngayon!) pagdating ko ng campus, tumataas ulit level ng energy ko. Parang walang nangyari maghapon. Ampangit naman kung iuuwi ko yun at itutulog lang di ba?
So parang dati pa rin, tambay kung saan-saan after class, ngayon nga lang e after work na. Hanggang kelan kaya ganito? Sabi nila eventually matututo rin akong umuwi nang maaga at magpahinga nang maayos..(siguro pag tinubuan na ‘ko ng wisdom tooth.)
Mapapagod din daw ako..
Back then, the monster in my mind were those people who i thought were capable of going after me and catching me during the night..my imagination was turning them into horrible creatures that all i was able to do was shrink in my bed and hide under the sheets..actually, it felt worse than nightmares..and last night it was as if i was that coward and weak child again..trying to be invisible..almost crying over the silent screams of the night.
Realizing that you haven't gotten over those childhood monsters yet is disgusting..and what is worse is the existence of those monsters turned humans and/or viceversa..
i ran across this post in the net..pretty amusing..hahaha minsan lang ako magbasa ng mga ganito..na-curious lang..at lalong minsan lang din ako mag-share ng mga ganito..
as usual, read on.
******************************************************************************************************
They say the "devil is in the details," but the other night, my friend and I were scanning the bar and noticing minor things about women. After reflecting on our observations, I put together four small things that guys notice that they don't often point out to women. Here they are:
Hands
I study a girl's hands pretty intensely. Beautiful hands can portray daintiness and strength at the same time. I notice manicures, and complexion. I imagine what it's like to hold them. I'm not much of a hand holder, but pretty hands will turn me into a hand holder. I even watch how a girl grips things. There are definitely different objects and shapes that look amazing in a girl's hands, such as a wine glass. A wine glass has delicate curves that play off a woman's hands. When I notice fingers that are appealing to me, I imagine how those fingertips would feel.
Hair
I've mentioned hair before, so I wouldn't say it's a "little thing". But hair can do simple actions that can evoke powerful emotions. One day I ran into my friend on the way to work-the friend that wore high heels to the soccer game. One thing's for sure: this girl really knows how to take care of and do her hair. We were just talking and walking when a gust of wind blew right down the street and ran through her hair. The indescribable motion that took place in her hair was beautiful. I even noticed that a random guy we passed turned his head and looked. I didn't realize until the day was over, but seeing that gust of wind go through my friend's hair put me in a good mood the rest of the day. So, while hair is a big deal, little random moments can create big, great things.
Attitude Towards Others
When I go out to dinner with a girl, I keep a close eye on how she treats a waiter or hostess. Does she say "thanks," and generally act polite and respectful? Sometimes I feel as if I'm overly cordial to people: I wish them a nice day and always make sure to say "thanks." But, what makes a woman has to do with more than just how she treats me. A person with a beautiful personality treats everyone nicely and respectfully. It's fun to be out with a girl and watch her make people smile from afar. It makes me feel proud and lucky that I'm with her. It's already an amazing thing when I meet a girl that can brighten my days. But if this girl brightens everyone's days, then I'm even luckier.
What Does She Notice?
It's fun meeting different people because they always bring a new perspective. When I break down music I love for people, they ask how I even care about every last little sound and note that I analyze and point out to them. What little things does a woman notice or point out? If we go to a Broadway show, for example, does she notice something in the background set? Does she notice the couple in front of us that is very much in love? Does she notice that the usher hates us because we are whispering and showed up just as the lights were going down? Sure, we share big thoughts and ideas with one another, but sometimes you can learn a lot about a person just by the details they notice in life and moments. It is a fun adventure going out with someone who can laugh at and notice little things, and who always brings new insights to different situations.
Once I realized that I was noticing little things, I came to the conclusion that little simple moments are just part of overall beauty. Beauty can be defined in a collection of moments, or memories more often than it can be defined by someone's appearance.
Seeing a girl across the room, holding a wine glass with pretty hands and making people smile, or a moment in the morning where the wind runs through a girl's hair, or a girl I'm noticing someone walking by in a Members Only jacket, are simple moments that should never be taken for granted.
as usual, tinamad na naman akong umuwi..ampangit kasi ng panahon..sabi ng aking ina e magpahinga na lang daw ako sa dorm..hayy lagi nalang pahinga..hanggang ngayon ako pa rin ang sakitin nyang anak..ayaw pa nga akong payagan magjogging kagabi! goodness! im old enough..tsk.
naghanap ako ng pwedeng basahin..ang dami kong choices..dahil nga out-of-school na ako may time na 'kong basahin ang mga books na gusto kong ulitin..wala ako sa mood pumili kung anong uunahin kaya sabi ko tapusin ko nalang yung Dare to Fail by Billi Lim.
di pa 'ko nangangalahati dahil nakakatulugan ko yung ibang parts..maganda yung book..at maganda rin ang panahon para matulog..kaya ayun..:D
dahil sa dami ng lessons sa book, nagmuka tuloy akong nagme-meditate..
read on and learn as well..^___^
Life is a struggle..struggle is life.
So why don't you reach for the stars?you might not get them, but you wont wind up with a handful of mud either.
If we compete with ourselves and we lose, who wins??
There's only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. -Oscar Wilde
Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up interest wrinkles the soul.
Worry, doubt, self-distrust, fear and despair..these are the long, long years that bow the head and turn the growing spirit back to dust.
Actually im not old, it's just that i was born earlier than other people. -tun abdul ghaffar baba
may mga tula pa nga na nakaka-inspire talaga..pag sinipag ako i-post ko..promise^_^
here i go again..facing this endless bunch of scientific journals in this rather empty working table, trying to get myself out of ink, thinking of ways on how to get time flying in its maximum rate, and starting my first set of yawns..it's just 8:30 in the morning!!
while i was riding the biotech shuttle just some minutes ago i had a very sad realization of a big mistake..indeed, accepting this job is just a result of the excitement i felt because of the thought that i was given another chance to stay longer in los baños.
yes, i was right when, two weeks ago, i felt and said that this job was really for me..my last resort to avoid leaving..but the work itself is not going to make me happy..true, one can't have everything.
i have just embraced a new life..another kind of boredom..getting up as early as i can every morning..running for the bus ride..sitting in the office..and eagerly anticipating for the boring eight hours of work to end..
..definitely a lot different from the kind of boredom i felt which has ended two weeks ago..getting up 30mins from my first class..running upstairs just for the fun of, um, running..sitting in the classroom pretending to listen to whoever is talking..and eagerly anticipating for the rest of the class period to finish..
never did i experience staying quiet in one place this long..not until now..too bad i'll be doing this stuff for a year..it will surely get me older..by the time this project is finished, i'll be needing botox because i'll be as old as my project mates!
darn, am i being punished??
my facial muscles are getting stiffer every moment because of this expressionless face i wear everyday..right now, im praying for an alien clown, God please give me at least two??
yep..you read it right..WORK..working girl nga ang tawag sa'kin sa mcbd..whow!i miss the people there..malapit lang naman sila halos karugtong lang ng bagong place ko ngayon..i mean in terms of field of study..yun nga lang di na ako ganon kadalas na andun..
para sa mga nagtataka talaga..dahil hindi makapaniwalang oo-may-trabaho-na-si-shara-at-hindi-na-madalas-na-tatambay-lang..hah! i got a job at National Institute of Molecular Biology and Biotechnology (Biotech)..wohooo!!yabang e..
mahabang istorya at talagang mahirap ikwento kung hindi lang din personal..basta nangyari ang lahat noong 22nd of October 2008..ang major life-changing day ko..so far..
first day of work ko ngayon..o di ba bongga!two weeks ago, i just had my last exam..estudyante pa ako noon..last week i was busy preparing the requirements for work and haggard accomplishing my clearance..kaya negrita na talaga ako ngayon..and this week is my first week of work..fast-paced eh?
***
what i felt during my first day of work wasn't excitement..i kept on asking myself a question which sounded like "sure ka na ba talaga??" my first step will determine the rest of my journey..i cant afford to make a mistake regarding this matter because it will tragically affect the future..i know i MUST dare to fail..
i cant just do things inside a laboratory while missing what supposedly should be happening to me somewhere else..choosing is indeed a bravery..
i started the day running for the biotech shuttle..and it pained me a lot to get up earlier than 7am..hayy life is hard..lucky enough, i arrived just in time.
i was asked to read the same project proposal which was given to me last week..on the first day of work, i think complaints are not welcome so i read it all over again (while keeping an eye on the time..silently praying for luchbreak..) and as usual ended up raising my left eyebrow because of the out-of-micro parts..
from time to time i slip out to the comfort room just to shrug off boredom and allow myself to move out of that office..(in front of the mirror, i realized that my hair is now longer)..what was annoying was that i was yawning every other minute..i was madly bored!!ah, there was a radio there which was endlessly playing old songs which contributed to the sleeping-time-factor..plus the rain..yawn.yawn.,yawn..
banduria..kulintang..fishbowl..empty paste container, puncher, a list of sacred vestments, a bottle of Bestaquam 50%, green labgown, and countless volumes of scientific journals..what could be worse than this sight around my table??whew!
i was revived after lunchbreak..had some chat with a friend..uhh, i miss my friends..
then the laminar-flowhood-listeria-culture tragedy happened..darn, the idea that i was already working somewhere outside mcbd was not yet really sinking in to me..forget it..everyone forgets..but that particular incident during my first day of work??huhu i thinki i wont..huhuhu
i was afraid of what my clumsiness would cost me..one time, there were plates just beside my right elbow while i was reviving some bacterial cultures..the plates were just centimeters away!!only God knows how i tried to control even my breathing worried that i would "accidentally" push the plates and cause so much trouble on my first day of work!
more readings came..goodness..only the people whose hobby is restriction mapping enjoy reading scientific journals..tsk. just sitting there, waiting for 5-o'clock to come, made me think about the realization i had during my practicum days in Alaska Milk Corp...im a microbiologist..and if im going to stay in the field, i'll be working in the industries..what was i doing there?? A University Research Associate..life is mocking me..
it's not that i'm complaining or something like that..im just confused..is this really what i want??or was i just trapped by the situations??resulting in spur of the moment decisions??
i'll be handling a pathogenic microorganism and will be exposed to that for a year..many of my co-workers told me to take extra precaution..honestly, their panic tones threatened me..very discouraging..i wont die of listeriosis, will i??