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BLOGMATES
JOURNAL ENTRIES
SITE CREDITS
This site is Reishin's,
images©Couchart,
and©Night Frost,
brushes©Forbiddenfire,
layout made by: Dita
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http://cracker23.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default
audentes fortuna juvat: September 2008
ABOUT ME:
chalkleight
chalkleight
Los Banos, Laguna, Philippines
usually first impression s'kin mataray,masungit and the likes..uhm,sad to say totoo un kc hndi ako msyadong sociable unless there's something in one person that i really like..sbi ng mga close s'kin good listener dw ako but i think im better in ignoring what they are saying pero when i feel n kylangn mo tlga ng mkikinig sau game ako lalo n kung nkakarelate ako s topic mo..'yoko s mga self-proclaimed..those who say a lot 'bout themselves (who cares 'bout them,anyway?) hehehe..trip ko mga humorous kc moody ako..another thing 'bout me is ung temper ko..uhm,it's always at the edge, u knw what i mean..if u nid 2 knw more basahin mo mga testi s'kin kc im sure they say a lot of things 'bout me.. :]
https://www.blogger.com/profile/15896205344583116855
Monday, September 22, 2008
around 120 points
around 120 points
i do stupid things..lalo na pag inaantok ako.nakarami nga ako kahapon e..di ko yun napansin until dumating ako sa room nung gabi..hindi ako lasing or anything..
badtrip, oo..
sa sarili ko..
ayokong may nadi-disappoint na tao dahil lang sa mga flaws ko..i dropped the idea of jogging that afternoon..but when i reached my room and felt that there was not enough space, i decided to run kahit gabi na at madilim sa park..
my eyes were dry the whole day, pero naiyak pa rin ako. naalala ko tuloy na may isang taong nagtanong sa'kin kahapon kung kelan daw ako huling umiyak..pag nakita ko sya mamaya, sasabihin ko na kagabi..
i felt so helpless..kainis yun..at pagbalik ko sa room, kahit pinigilan ko, e hindi pa rin talaga ako tumigil..at dun ko na nga naalala kung kelan nga talaga ako huling umiyak nang ganon..it was during my grandmother's funeral..
hindi ko na uulitin ang kapalpakang yun..sa susunod mag-iingat na talaga ako..
hayy napuyat ako kaka-divert ng attention ko kagabi..ayun natapos ko tuloy ang pagno-notes at paggawa ng reports..ano pang ngangaragin ko sa mga susunod na araw??hehehe marami pang nag-aabang na dapat gawin..4th hellweek ko ngayon..
dahil nga puyat ako,nakatulog tuloy ako sa virology at di ko na nakuhang mainis sa taong kinaiinisan ko palagi..he's spared today..but, will i be for the rest of this day??
i can't smile the way i did yesterday..pagod na nga siguro..
Epidemiology is the study of factors affecting the health and illness of populations, and serves as the foundation and logic of interventions made in the interest of public health and preventive medicine. It is considered a cornerstone methodology of public health research, and is highly regarded in evidence-based medicine for identifying risk factors for disease and determining optimal treatment approaches to clinical practice.
In the work of communicable and non-communicable diseases, the work of epidemiologists range from outbreak investigation to study design, data collection and analysis including the development of statistical models to test hypotheses and the documentation of results for submission to peer-reviewed journals. Epidemiologists may draw on a number of other scientific disciplines such as biology in understanding disease processes and social science disciplines including sociology and philosophy in order to better understand proximate and distal risk factors.
Epidemiologists employ a range of study designs from the observational to experimental and are generally categorized as descriptive, analytic (aiming to further examine known associations or hypothesized relationships), and experimental (a term often equated with clinical or community trials of treatments and other interventions). Epidemiological studies are aimed, where possible, at revealing unbiased relationships between exposures such as alcohol or smoking, biological agents, stress or chemicals to mortality or morbidity. Identifying causal relationships between these exposures and outcomes are important aspects of epidemiology. Modern epidemiologist use informatics as a tool.The term 'epidemiologic triad' is used to describe the intersection of Host, Agent, and Environment in analyzing an outbreak.
It was just about 2km or so from where we started to run. I realized that I was burning my lungs already. My cheeks were hot, my whole face sticky with sweat. My hands felt cold..so cold that the goosebumps started appearing in my arms. I was frantically forcing myself to keep on running because I knew I’ll never be able to run again when I stop. And we’re not even halfway yet. But after a while I chose to walk. You can’t blame me. The elevation was already getting in to my nerves. The pressure was building in my ears as we go higher. Even my molars were feeling it; sending different stimuli to my already anticipating pain receptors. I had no choice but to think of anything but pressure to divert my mind from welcoming the stinging sensation.
It was my first time to run with one thousand one hundred or so people. I was even frightened when I heard the sound of the shotgun which signalled our start. The participants were very thrilled. It seemed that upon hearing the shot, everyone has that painful surge of adrenaline. At first, there were people who were laughing with no particular reason I guess. It was fun to run with the same kind. Just like a pride of lions going for a hunt.
While attempting to run once more, I recognized where the real courage comes in..it’s when you decided to run again after you stopped. I couldn’t help but be amused by the different people on the race. I knew everyone aimed to finish the track, pushed by different motivations. We ran because it was inescapable. We needed to finish before our bodies go weaker.
My friend and I went through the course playfully. Enjoying the nature and laughing like madmen. Almost forgetting that we were supposed to be running like the rest. At times she would extend her hand to me as if trying to pull me up. Every time I would reach for her I would regain some strength and would continue on conquering the path. It was so nice to accept some help but I was convinced that it was not the effort to pull me up which strengthened me but the thought that someone was with me and she would not let me down. Thanks Edz! ^_~
As we go higher, the path continued to get steeper and the view more spectacular. Thank God I was not born acrophobic otherwise I would just throw up all the way and spoil the scenery from up there. Heights make me feel euphoric. I just love the thought of getting myself above anyone or anything else, denotatively or connotatively.
We continued the struggle and just then a very fast runner was sprinting towards us..he has already gone from the 10km turning point, still 30minutes ahead from us. He was going so fast because of the slope and I heard him shouting about the strong pull downwards. It was funny that he could not do anything about it. Another inescapable thing. I wonder how his legs are feeling right now.
So, on we went. People were starting to get back from the turning point. They were already taking the opposite path, all the way down, back to where we have started. There were jokes from them that we only have three thousand steps more to go. Three thousand steps?? Actually, I have no idea how far it was. And I was not in the mood to count.
By the time we reached the turning point, I was so exhausted that it was already impossible for me to breathe evenly. But the sight of the clouds that were just almost an arm-length away lifted me up. It was a breath-taking sight. However, it didn’t make me literally breathless. I even regained some of my strength back. We stopped and gazed down. We were even tempted to stay longer but we reminded ourselves that we were still on a race..well, technically, that is.
Getting back down the campus went smoothly, 75% sight-seeing. We learned some tricks to ignore the slopes, like staring down at the road while getting on with the path. We ran again on the last 1.5km stretch and reached the finish line feeling very fulfilled. Two hours, one minute and thirty seconds. Not bad.
I have to be reminded to thank my schoolmate in high school that pushed me to take that 10km challenge. I was decided that I’ll choke him when I see him again. But having to reach that high place on foot and to have a chance to admire nature some more, well, I have no choice but to change my mind.
I rested my head on the wall behind me and felt the cool air blowing my hair from the window. I was in my Virology class and though I was not paying attention as to what my teacher kept on babbling about, I was aware that I was not only me who was inattentive.
It was obvious that everyone was just staring blankly at the projected slides in front..uhh, my apologies to the people from the geekdom..okay, you were listening..my mistake..there might be three or four of them who were actually seeing the real thing. The maximum number would be five. Justice served I guess.
My seatmates had their heads tilted in different directions. Some were trying to hide, as cautiously as possible, their cellphones while frantically typing their messages. Others were courageous enough not to hide their yawns and there were even more courageous who were sleeping right in front of our teacher’s face. I even overheard an ogre bragging about his money as if he can eat them raw. Let me quote from Edward Cullen, “I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do thoroughly.” Well, choking the ogre would be very delightful. And yeah, there was me, writing, reading and silently smiling, amused as usual by my own perceptions. My teacher was considerate anyway.
I was lost in my thoughts again. The book in my armchair prompted me to dwell with my imagination longer..and even deeper.
Vampires.
Beautiful creatures.
Hayy..nonsense.pathetic.unhealthy.
The limitation of my urinary bladder interrupted the story from consuming me alive. I stopped reading before I get myself into a situation which would probably require me to move to a new town. ^_~
I was waiting in vain for that usual 5-minute break from our generous teacher so that I could sneak out and relieve myself. And oh life, being ironic as it was since time immemorial, did that trick again! My teacher continued with her gibbering, deliberately forgetting all about the equality which was supposed to be always implemented. And on her lecture went, while I was sitting wobbly, hopeless about that 5-minute break. I could not get out. I was not rude enough to get across the length of the whole classroom, and to risk tripping myself all over for the benefit of those who were yawning madly. My feet felt cold already. I could do nothing but clench on my pen and scribble furiously on the paper. Darn.
It was drizzling outside. I saw someone yawning again. I did the same.
We were all tongue-tied..engaged with our own pretenses..waiting to be rescued.
I rested my head on the wall behind me and felt the cool air blowing my hair from the window. I was in my Virology class and though I was not paying attention as to what my teacher kept on babbling about, I was aware that I was not only me who was inattentive.
It was obvious that everyone was just staring blankly at the projected slides in front..uhh, my apologies to the people from the geekdom..okay, you were listening..my mistake..there might be three or four of them who were actually seeing the real thing. The maximum number would be five. Justice served I guess.
My seatmates had their heads tilted in different directions. Some were trying to hide, as cautiously as possible, their cellphones while frantically typing their messages. Others were courageous enough not to hide their yawns and there were even more courageous who were sleeping right in front of our teacher’s face. I even overheard an ogre bragging about his money as if he can eat them raw. Let me quote from Edward Cullen, “I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do thoroughly.” Well, choking the ogre would be very delightful. And yeah, there was me, writing, reading and silently smiling, amused as usual by my own perceptions. My teacher was considerate anyway.
I was lost in my thoughts again. The book in my armchair prompted me to dwell with my imagination longer..and even deeper.
Vampires.
Beautiful creatures.
Hayy..nonsense.pathetic.unhealthy.
The limitation of my urinary bladder interrupted the story from consuming me alive. I stopped reading before I get myself into a situation which would probably require me to move to a new town. ^_~
I was waiting in vain for that usual 5-minute break from our generous teacher so that I could sneak out and relieve myself. And oh life, being ironic as it was since time immemorial, did that trick again! My teacher continued with her gibbering, deliberately forgetting all about the equality which was supposed to be always implemented. And on her lecture went, while I was sitting wobbly, hopeless about that 5-minute break. I could not get out. I was not rude enough to get across the length of the whole classroom, and to risk tripping myself all over for the benefit of those who were yawning madly. My feet felt cold already. I could do nothing but clench on my pen and scribble furiously on the paper. Darn.
It was drizzling outside. I saw someone yawning again. I did the same.
We were all tongue-tied..engaged with our own pretenses..waiting to be rescued.
four flips remaining..
those four flips will surely contain so much..
academics and non-academics..
and after those four flips, academic matters will be totally wiped out of my schedule..
and I’ll be facing a lot of leisure time because I’ll be having the life that I wanted to have ..so far..
..i want a freelance type of life..
because i have no idea about what I want to pursue next..
..and since when did I become this undecided?
Hayy..it was when I realized that I do not want to be disappointed by my plans and expectations..when I started to fear failure..
since then, I decided to live each day without bothering about tomorrow. It will undoubtedly come anyway..
whatever it is..
This is real life I’ve got to deal with..not the typical cfu/ml-type of question..got to be more sensible now..^____^
“When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it’s not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end.”
-twilight
Sabagay sikat naman talaga ang kaibigan kong yun kaya di nakakapagtaka na wala pang bente-kwatro oras e sangkatutak na ang agad ang comments sa unang blog entry nya..
Tingin ko nga in case topakin yun at makapag-publish ng libro, lalangawin ang noli me tangere ni rizal..hayy..kawawang pi100.
Err..blog ko nga pala ‘to..so tungkol na ulit sa’kin..
Kapag ba binagsak ko ang 2-unit course na yun itatakwil na ‘ko ng lahat??ang babaw.
Exaggerated.
Marami na akong sinabihan na hindi imposibleng malagay ako sa alanganin dahil sa Immunology..at marami rin akong natanggap na reaksyon..
“talaga made-delay ka??yey!!tama lang para sabay ka na sa’min..”
- salamat sa encouragement ha!
“bakit ka ba naman kasi nagmamadali?e on time ka pa naman kung uulitin mo yun next sem di ba??”
- yeah..05-na-3-and-a-half nga pala si shara..
“so kelangan mo na mag-aral para sa sunod na exam..”
- ang daling i-advice nun e..mahirap sundin..kahit pa i-bribe mo ‘ko..
“bakit mo naman iniisip na babagsak ka dun??that is so not you..”
- thanks..not so shara talaga..
“ano ka ba?wag mo kasing i-set yung utak mo na uulitin mo yun..”
- hay..bakit nga ba nagpapaka-negative ako??
“naku..mahirap nga yan..pati tuloy ako nalungkot..”
- at mas mukha pa talaga s’yang malungkot kesa sa’kin..
“ano ka ba?kayang-kaya mo yan!ikaw pa!”
- lakas talaga ng impact ng mga ganito sa’kin..sabihin nang gullible ako, I don’t care..it’s just so nice to feel that some people still believe in my powers.hehehe
“ngayon lang kita nakitang nag-iisip tungkol sa acads ah!sosyal.”
- e ngayon lang din naman umabot sa point na kinakabahan talaga ako e..oo, pasaway ako pero sinisigurado ko namang hindi magagasgasan ng singko ang TOR ko..
“may next sem ka pa naman..”
- at marami pang mga susunod na sems pagnagkataon..darn.kanina ko lang nalaman na seasonal pala ang subject na yun..lagot na!
“ipasa mo nalang ang finals..”
- the final exam is also the removal exam..3 or 5..pass or fail..yan ang hirap sa dalawa lang ang papipilian..sabit o laglag..kapit shara!
“ako rin..
- matapos kong sabihin na “baka ma-delay ako..” yun ang sagot nya..hahaha ang dali lang talaga ng buhay para sa’min.
“anong bang nangyayari sa’yo??”
- ha??malay ko..di nga yata normal ang pagbabagsak ng subject..
Ayoko na nga yung isipin..katulad ng karamihan sa mga kabababawang pinoproblema ko sa maganda at masaya kong buhay, eto ang sagot: mangyayari nalang ang dapat..
Tama?
Wait..
Gusto ko lang i-share yung isa sa mga quotes na natanggap ko ngayong araw..
Faith allows impossible things to happen..it is the force that comes from a fearless heart..and when a fearless heart believes..miracle happens..
I have to be faithful and fearless.
Hakuna matata!
Only 46 days for the grass to grow!!^_______^
Merry Christmas.
Yes, the -ber months have already started. It’s the first day today..septemBER 1.
Time flies fast as always..gee!and now, it's faster.
But no matter how fast its flight can get, so much can still happen in a fraction of it. I can imagine that we are all in one movie....a forwarded one.
Too bad, I keep on wasting this precious flying time which everyone has been trying to stop.
It's going to be a year since my countdown after the Christmas Day of 2007 has begun.
I’ve been doing a lot of countdowns…
250 days to go before
237 days to go before 25April2009.
167 days to go before 14February2009.
134 days to go before12January2009.
123 days to go before 01January2009.
116 days to go before 25December2008.
48 days to go before 18October2008.
Et cetera.
It’s not excitement..it’s a mixture of anticipation and fear over what difference would each of those days will contribute to my rather routine life.
What an amazing moment! Right now I am in this state of realization that indeed I am still young but not getting any younger. I am almost thinking about the more sensible decisions that I’m supposed to be making in the next days..the days which seem to be always coming in a hurry.
However, despite this reality check, I can’t keep in pace with what’s really happening. Every day I’ll wake up trying to ignore the alarms that remind me of the remaining number of days of my studentship. .and every day I’ll get up trying to forget that I am still sleepy, and usually will lead to forgetting more important things as well.
Hayy..
It would definitely be very hard for me to get out of this carefree world that I used to live in..that I used to protect..the world which I learned to share with different sets of people.
It has been getting a lot more complicated in every day. Honestly, it scares me. The paranoia over a lot of uncertainties causes me to feel panicky.
Will everyone still be there when I finally begin to step forward?