|
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
|
|
|
BLOGMATES
JOURNAL ENTRIES
SITE CREDITS
This site is Reishin's,
images©Couchart,
and©Night Frost,
brushes©Forbiddenfire,
layout made by: Dita
UTF-8
http://cracker23.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default
audentes fortuna juvat: March 2008
ABOUT ME:
chalkleight
chalkleight
Los Banos, Laguna, Philippines
usually first impression s'kin mataray,masungit and the likes..uhm,sad to say totoo un kc hndi ako msyadong sociable unless there's something in one person that i really like..sbi ng mga close s'kin good listener dw ako but i think im better in ignoring what they are saying pero when i feel n kylangn mo tlga ng mkikinig sau game ako lalo n kung nkakarelate ako s topic mo..'yoko s mga self-proclaimed..those who say a lot 'bout themselves (who cares 'bout them,anyway?) hehehe..trip ko mga humorous kc moody ako..another thing 'bout me is ung temper ko..uhm,it's always at the edge, u knw what i mean..if u nid 2 knw more basahin mo mga testi s'kin kc im sure they say a lot of things 'bout me.. :]
https://www.blogger.com/profile/15896205344583116855
Monday, March 31, 2008
Excerpt30March2008,2:00pm – Ultimate Bonding/Baging Experience (UBE) Day 2
Excerpt30March2008,2:00pm – Ultimate Bonding/Baging Experience (UBE) Day 2
This morning when I heard my cellphone ringing for alarm, I forgot why I se it that early. So, as expected, I ignored it completely and turned it off. I was supposed to jog first before hiking to Flatrocks, right? But then, the exhaustion caused by yesterday’s UBE with Ja made me forgot my to-do’s. Good thing Ja knocked at my door noisily that I was able to get up just in time for us to meet her friends who will be joining us. We were seven all in all.
It was so nice to pick up the pieces of friendship ones again. All the while I thought that I have thrown away the good things we shared in those numerous Friendship Days last year. All the while I thought that I’ve wasted another important person just because of crammed up time and poor communication. But all the while I was wrong for thinking that it can’t be saved at all.
Our second day of Ultimate Bonding Experience turned out to be an Ultimate Baging Experience. Yep. Baging. As in the one used by Tarzan, the king of the jungle. So each of us played as his Jane, except for the two younger boys with us. I don’t know whose role they have played. The monkey’s perhaps?
Being swept away above the other plants in that slope while clinging in that baging was indeed awesome! I kept on shouting my lungs out to relieve the nervousness accumulating in my chest. I shouted and laughed. And flew. Three times. And I’m telling you, it really felt great!
We continued our hike up to Flatrocks. It was not hard at all to go there as compared to my first climb (with Jhomar and his classmates and teacher in SoSc1) way back when I was still a freshman. We did not follow the same trail. What we took this time was the easier one, not because most of us are girls but simply because we wanted to save time.
It was not the same old Flatrocks that my eyes have seen years ago. The water was now shallower. The whole place has changed. The coldness of water remained as is however.
We enjoyed the water. Took a cold, fresh and organic bath while smiling and posing from time to time for pictures.
God has been so great for me today. I’ve got twelve hours of straight sleep (9pm-9am). I wasn’t able to run in the morning because I chose to continue my sleep since the program about motorcade or whatever was it (which Sen. Ramon “Bong” Revilla, Jr. attended) has already started when my phone alarmed at 5:30am. I assumed that there were already people there in
I started my day talking with Ja and Rem at 9am and continued until we took our lunch at 2pm. Ja and I scheduled a little trip to an orchard (for Agri students) opposite to IE building at 5pm. We were hoping for some fresh starapples but all we got were four pieces of Averrhoa carambola and immature pieces of Averrhoa bilimbi. Since we got frustrated for not having the fruits that we intended to have, we decided to get out of the campus to buy some. We stopped for some sundaes at Ministop. Then Ja’s brother called her told her that he was just around the campus with his girlfriend. They treated us for dinner by which I got a little dizzy over the food. Oil really gets the hell out of me. The encounter was fine if not great. Free dinner over new acquaintances is not bad after all.
We avoided the dorm curfew tonight. Thank heavens. I’ve been always on the list since the management got so terribly and disgustingly strict about it.
Pamy then invited me for a movie (Naked Weapon) and guyabano. Who am I to resist? Well, I did enjoy both.
just moments ago i was in a very ICS-y situation..
yup, sa ICS..nagpadagdag ako ng recommended course kasi gusto ko talaga ng extra PE this summer..extra..kasi tapos ko na yung 3 PE2 (Aerodancing,Self-defense,Tai-Chi) ko nung summer05-06..
last summer class ko na 'to..ang pangit naman kung STS1 lang kukunin ko..pang-80 pa kasi ako sa PI100,parang malabo nang magka-slot pa ako dun..actually, sa STS1 pang-7 pa ako..pero kaya naman na yata na magka-slot ako dun..ang if worse comes to worst..hehehe..mararanasan ko mag-prerog!!
nagtataka rin nga parents ko sa'kin..todo reklamo na ako lagi sa bahay na tinatamad na akong mag-aral pero ewan daw ba nila kung bakit nagpipilit pa akong mag-take ng summer classes e 19 units nalang naman ako next sem..magpahinga nalang daw muna ako..
uuhhh..pahinga is definitely tantamount to accumulation of excess fats..thanks, but no thanks.
balik tayo dun sa ICS-y situation..i was allowed by the authorities to take the subject..the only problem that was left (but is now handled) was how to add it (PE 2-Walking for Fitness) in the list of my recommended courses..di naman talaga sya problema kasi the solution is readily available..pero kasi di ba laging okay ang mga regforms ko..kaya di ko alam kung papano ginagawa yung for example nga, pagpapalagay ng recommended course..
first time..
first time kong makaharap ang sikat na si sir duldulao..kinabahan ako..i was looking for his office, checking every door in the ICS lobby..when i found his, i stared at it for a while hoping to see a posted schedule or something..and right then, biglang bumukas ang pinto!!within that fraction of time,my tired mind was desperately trying to reverse what had just happened.."sana di naman si duldulao ang lalabas.."
pero syempre, sya ang lalabas dun dahil office nya yun!!grabe magkasinglaki na yata kami ng eyebags..or magkasing-haggard tingnan.
he just looked down at me (akalain mong may significant difference pala kami sa height!!) probably thinking "ano'ng tinitingin-tingin mo sa pinto ko?!" hmph!
sana hindi naman ako nag-stammer nung sinabi ko na "sir, um, pano po ba magpapadagdag ng subject sa recommended course?"
tiningnan nya lang ako at biglang tumalikod "anong subject?" sabay pasok ulit sa office.sumunod ako kahit di naman nya ako pinapasok.
ang lamig..not that i'm complaining or something..yung room ang sinasabi ko ha..i don't care whether it's his normal way of dealing with the students or not..ang lamig nung room.err,may sipon kasi ako.
"PE 2 po, Walking for Fitness"
"ID mo?" nasa harap na sya ng computer.
clik,clik,clik..binalik yung ID ko.humarap na ulit sya papunta sa pinto.tumalikod ako."thank you." mahina lang pagkasabi ko.sana narinig.nauna ako sa pinto.i turned the knob and pull the door..then pulled harder..may goodness!!push pala dapat!!argh!!
i almost flew..ang bilis lang pala magpadagdag ng recommended course..what makes it a hassle is that you have to endure the serious looks being thrown by that systemone moderator as if you're an ugly duckling blocking his way.parang pasan nya ang mundo ah..e sangka-elbihan lang naman..hehehe
well, nakapagpa-enlist na ako sa PE2-Walking for Fitness..may sure na subject na ako this summer.yahoo! bakit walking for fitness??e yun lang yung PE na may slot pa..tsaka gusto ko yung schedule nya..hapon..tamang-tama para makapa-jogging ako after..hahaha seryoso sa pagpapapayat!! oo, seryoso na rin kasi inilaki ko.
sige, aral pa ako..may exam pa sa Zoo173lab mamayang 2pm..goodluck sa'kin..nakatulog ako kagabi e..sipon kasi..
hindi ko na kailangang ulit-ulitin kung gaano ako kapasaway..
after ng bagong bonding namin nina ja,danes at pamy (ang saya nun..yun nga lang medyo kadiri..parang nag-mount ka ng porins..at hindi nama-mount ang porins!!..i mean, not that i know of..), na natapos ng past 12midnight, saka pa lang ako nag-start ng paggawa ng final paper ko sa fil20..10am pa naman kasi ang submission.
nagstart ako ng 12:50am..natapos ng 2:30am..not bad para sa apat na tula..salamat sa mga napaka-inspiring na topics na binigay ni danes..hahaha di ko sya pinatulog hanggang di sya nagbibigay ng topic e.
etong una edited version nung ipinasa namin before..at kanina ko lang napansin may comment pala si sir sa draft ko.."sayang." ayun..
Pinakahihintay
Ako’y binukbok na sa pagkakatayo
Sa aking humuhunang pagkakakabit
Hindi ko masisi ang bisagrang kinakalawang
O ang mga anay na gumagapang
At nanginginain hanggang aking kaloob-looban
Nang kumaripas na ang hanging nangangalit
Buong lakas akong humampas
Dumagundong.
Di na binigyan ng pagkakataong lumangitngit.
Sa aking pagkakakalog, larawang nakasabit sa aki’y lumaban
At nagpilit na di malaglag
Mas naramdaman ko na ang pagtutulakan ng mga anay
Kaunti pa’t malalasap ko na ang pagbagsak.
eto yung mga ginawa ko kagabi..or kanina..whatever..time doesn't matter anyway..
Hindi Masabi
Ang mga salitang nag-uunahang lumabas sa bibig ng aking guro
Ay mga salita lamang, walang laman
Puno ng huwad na karunungan
Hindi marinig ng aking mapaghanap na puso.
Ang mga salitang nagkakalat sa aking paligid
Ay mapanghusga, walang kwenta
Puro mantsa ng kawalang katarungan
Mga salitang nararapat lamang na ibaon sa kawalan.
Ang mga salitang dumadaloy mula sa aking dugo
Patungo sa aking daliri, na iniluluwa ng aking panulat
Ay ang katotohanang pabulong na isinisigaw ng aking pagkatao
Ngunit sa papel, maskara lamang ng lahat ng ito ang matatanto.
Laylayan ng Pantalon
Maayos lamang ako habang bago
Kuskos dito, kuskos doon, yan ang silbi ko
Naiipit sa pagitan ng semento at swelas
Hindi makasigaw sapagkat bibig di na maibukas.
Minsa’y mahigpit ang pagkatupi
Lalo na sa malalaking binti
Pasikip nang pasikip hanggang tuhod
Sakal na sakal, parang malulunod.
Gusot.
Tastas.
Punit.
Kupas.
Huwag lamang tae ng aso ang matitikman
O di kaya’y putik sa daan
Sa aking katabi’y masaya akong makikipag-unahan
‘pagkat ang paghalik ko sa lupa’y isang kadakilaan.
Nose pack
Kaputia’y parang nyebe
Animo’y alak ang pagkaswabe
Likidong galing sa sachet, sa hintuturo’y patuluin
Ipahid sa ibabaw ng ilong, dam’hin
Mala-Elmer’s Glue ang lagkit
Mala-bakal ang lamig
Hayaang matuyo, patigasin
Huwag maiinip, kati ay tiisin
Kapag dalawampung minuto’y natapos na
Simulan sa tabi ang pag-alis sa maskara
Tuklaping dahan-dahan
Parang nagbabalat ng masapan
Ilong na magaspang bago ikinubli
Wala nang blackheads nang ilabas muli.
Palaka
Ang kanyang tiyan at ang aking palad
Kapwa makinis, naglapat
Mula sa kanyang loob ramdam ko bawat pintig
Nanunuot sa akin ang kanyang lamig
Tibok ng puso niya’y kaisa sa aking pulso
Unti-unting giniginaw ang aking dugo
Nang magtangka siyang kumawala
Mga kamay ko’y mas yumakap
Lalo siyang nag-alma
Kapit ng mga daliri ko’y nagbabadya ng hirap.
Walang halik.
Walang luha.
Dinampot ng kanan ko ang karayom
Panganib ang katumbas
Ramdam niya ang aking layon
Mas ninais niyang kumaripas.
Walang pag-ibig.
Walang awa.
Karayom na hawak ko ay sa batok niya itinapat
Itinusok, di na kailangan pa ng hudyat
Pinaikot, mga kamay at paa niya’y napaunat
Kawawang prinsipe, nawalan ng ulirat.
It’s Good Friday but God still permitted me to run, otherwise I would not have gone running three rounds and walking another three rounds along the Freedom Park, burning my lungs and hopefully, my excess fats too. I missed jogging. It has been almost three weeks since I did my last jog.
I know that God willed it that the moon was at its fullest for people like me to admire it, envy it and pity it.
Jogging exhausted me for a while but as usual, after completing my third round of walking I was again revived.
The serenity surrounding the oval (lower field, where the grandstand was located) invited me to do whatever my instinct will be telling me. I slowly walked towards the center of the oval. I felt the coolness of the air evaporating my sweat. I let my hair flew with the wind. I tossed my head back and extended my hands laterally. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, filling my lungs with fresh night air. It was so relaxing. I was even feeling everything around me.
I wondered how many people were lucky enough to have done and felt the same thing before, or were doing and feeling the same thing at the same time with me in a different spot yet with the same scenery as what surrounded me.
As if the most natural thing to do, I sit myself on the grass. It was my first time to do that. Alone, without even a mat and under the gloriously shining full moon.
I stared at the moon while hugging my knees. I kept staring at it. Keenly observing the different shapes of the clouds approaching it. The sky was perfect. Clear enough for such a moment.
Nothing was there. Only the moon and I. Every sound slowly faded. Everything seemed to go closer then suddenly disappeared. I have no idea what occurred to me but I just noticed that teardrops fell from my eyes. For no reason at all.
For a flash of time, I remembered everything I have forgotten or just pretending to forget. The feeling was awful yet fulfilling. It was not the moon I was facing. Not the moon at all, but myself. At that blessed moment, seriously, I felt complete.
I wanted to hold on to that feeling, to that amazing fraction of time, but then decided not to. Because if I did, I know I will just spoil it. So after a while, I let go. I let it fade away with my tears. But I stayed longer just sitting there. Lost in random meaningless thoughts. Sucked in an empty imagination. I realized one important thing though. People around me are wrong to think that I am a person who knows exactly what I want, but rather, I am the kind who knows what exactly I do not want. Those two things are different, aren’t they?
I started to look forward for the next full moon, during when I’ll have the chance of repeating what I have experienced. Before standing up and going back to my place, I thanked God for letting me feel loneliness and completeness at the same brilliant time. When I turned my back from the moon, I instinctively glanced at it ones more, then I smiled.
Yesterday, everything went perfectly fine, except for my headache which started when I was preparing the things that I would be needing for fecalysis (ZOO173-lab). Good thing vacant ako ng one and a half hours before the subject. I bought everything to be bought. That’s when my headache started. The sun was so cruel. Ang sakit talaga sa ulo kapag lumabas sa tanghali. Tapos nangangarag na ako kung anong uunahin. Nagtetext si **** kung naglunch na raw ba ako tapos si *** naman nagtetext na nata*** na raw sya. Si *** kasi ang kinunan ko ng fecal sample. Pano mo ma-eenjoy ang lunch kung alam mo na habang kumakain ka, somebody is performing an elimination process and that in a matter of minutes you will be dealing with those eliminated wastes?!
Nevertheless, **** and I had our lunch mindlessly. Because if we did not, we probably have collapsed during that three-hour laboratory exercise which we realized was unexpectedly and exceptionally exhausting.
In high school, we (Parasitology Elective Class) performed the same lab work. We were handled by Ms. ***** (now Mrs. ******) my all-time favorite teacher. I did not encounter the problem of obtaining fecal samples at that time because ***** and ***** managed to get some from the children who were digging our trashes from those compost pits of the school backyard.
Way back, we only had our gas masks. No lab gowns, no gloves, no formalin. Not even a laboratory. We just used the spare room beside the Chemistry Faculty Office. Instead of formalin, we used salt solution which of course did not lessen the stink even a bit. We had our test tubes and stirring rods, slides, coverslips and the freshly obtained fecal material, which as I can remember, was almost watery and oh, so disgustingly foul that the gas masks we were wearing became of no use. I always have to go outside that room to breathe some fresh air and to go back inside either to face the yucky test tubes or to steal a glance from *******. Uhh..that was years ago.
I wasn’t able to mount any parasite egg because I got so impatient with the smell. I just told Ms. ***** that the stool was parasite-free even though I was sure that Ascaris and other species alike were thriving inside the unknown subject’s intestines knowing the kind of environment they were in. I had no choice. In fact, I almost threw up before the exercise was even halfway finished.
On the other hand, the fecalysis yesterday didn’t cause me a lot of trouble (in terms of smell) because we have used formalin and we were wearing the proper lab attires. But throughout the exercise, my headache persisted. Good thing one of our classmate’s smiles made **** and I so silly that caused me to forget about my headache from time to time.
I wasn’t able to spot some parasite eggs this time as well. Nobody in the class did, anyway. And besides, *** was my subject, surely she would not be harboring any parasites in her intestines, would she?
As long as there's such thing as time, everybody is damaged in the end, changed into something else. It always happens, sooner or later.
-Miss Saeki, Kafka on the Shore
panong hindi ko magugustuhan ang librong yun e it's like reading the story of my life..yung mga parts lang na may kinalaman sa time ha..hehehe
i keep on running
and to be able to see the end of this lap, i have to crawl harder
and to be able to reach it, i have to forget everything, even skip breathing
the irony is that i don't even know if im on the right track
and why i have to struggle
in fact i have no idea what's waiting for me there
and thinking about it is like imagining what lies beyond the universe
when i get there, i'll know what's next..maybe
when i get there, i'll decide on my own..i hope
bakit ganyan ang title??secret..gusto ko lang matandaan ang plate number na yan..
hmm..syempre nangangarag na naman si shara mae as usual..uuhhh..shara mae??! sino yun??hahaha
ang daming exams..ang daming papers..ang daming dapat gawin..in short, ang sarap matulog.
cute nito..forwarded by a friend na finorward ko rin sa friends:
UP Students' Prayer:
now i lay me down to study
i pray the Lord i don't go nutty
and if i fail to learn this junk
i pray the Lord i do not flunk
and if i die don't bury me at all
just lay my bones in the study hall
and pile my books upon my chest
and tell my profs i did my best
so now i lay me down to rest
and pray i pass tomorrow's test
and if i die before i wake
that's one less test i'll have to take.
amen.
minsan lang ako ako nagbabasa ng mga posts sa friendster bulletin..lalo na yung mga survey-survey and the likes..
buti nalang kanina e nangyari yung minsan na yun dahil talagang nag-enjoy ako sa post nitong si ruth..hahaha
pero di ako nagsagot nun ha.
=D
posted by Ruth last Wednesday, 12 March, 2008 10:47 AM
title: Way past my bedtime..hai..
1. ang ex ko..
~ ay mag-eexist sa future..wha?!
2. siguro dapat..
~ magseryoso na ko sa buhay..at maging
focused sa ginagawa ko
3 . gusto ko..
~ madisiplina ang sarili ko
4 . sinasabi ng tao na ako'y..
~ lukaluka--hehe..de tahimik daw ako..
5. hindi ko maintindihan..
~ kung bakit ganto ang nangyayari
6. paggising ko sa umaga..
~ magrereview ako para sa seminar ko
7. nawalan ako..
~ ng puso..hndi ko nga mahanap
eh..nagkapiraso piraso ata..
8. ang buhay ko ay puno ng..
~ kulay?!hehe..puno ng takot sa
mundo..hai..
9 . ang nakaraan ko ay..
~ nakakatuwang alalahanin
10. naiinis ako kapag..
~ may nakakairitang pangyayari
11. ang mga xmas party ay..
~ hindi nawawalan ng food..hehe
12. hinihiling ko na...
~
13. ang aso..
~ ay may ngipin?hehe
14. ang pusa..
~ mabantot ang pupu..nge?!
15. bukas..
~ ay thurs..my most awaited day!
16. maiksi ang pasensya ko sa..
~ mayayabang at judgemental
17. kung may isang milyon ako..
~ magodonate ako sa church at
magtutour kami ng family ko aroun the
philippines
18. takot akong..
~ marami eh..
19. minsan..
~ iniisip ko ang future ko after ko
gumradweyt
20. kung bibigyan ako ng pagkakataon..
~ sasabihin ko sa crush ko na crush ko
siya..haha..gud luck!
excerpt11March2008, 1:30am
Funny how lately you would realize that you had invested too much into something that was not real. that inconsiderate circumstances just made you believe that it was what you wanted, and since everything changes, you will find yourself in a nightmare of a chaotic waste. that's the trouble of embracing a life which is dictated not by you yourself but by the expectations of those who surround you. you will just end up wasting time, or worse, even wasting your entire life in the universe of pretense.
The funnier thing is finding yourself later on asking, "Why did i let this happen?"
And what's funniest is realizing much later on that you are the only one to be blamed for everything that has happened to you.
Terrible days like what i'll be facing tomorrow give me an equally terrible conclusion, that i can't be a multi-tasker during the times when i need to be one. because during those days, unconsciously, i'll be forcing myself to take one at a time cautiously because i can't afford to commit any kind of mistake with such a limited time. wait..me forcing myself?or the situation forces me to? or could it be the time itself? i, pathetically, don't have any idea.
Is this what i really wanted to do?i always ask. but everything will be silent about it -- perhaps not to interrupt my mind to be able to think of the best answer, or, perhaps for the world to mock me more for not providing an answer when i desperately need one.
Desperate. yes, i'm desperate. desperate to get out of this blackhole which seems to suck me deeper into it the more i struggle to escape. im trapped into doing things which i thought were the ones that would make me happy. i desperately want to find an exit.
)..
yes..im the lady-miss-chief today..or it must be Lady Mischeif??
and i'll be telling you what had happened yesterday..............
....before my 1pm class started, realized that i left my journal notes at (name of place deleted..so to avoid incidences of stalking..nyahahaha). i rushed back there and thanked heavens that nobody has noticed it yet. it didn't give me a creep though thinking that another soul would be able to read my words. it even thrilled me to look at the possibility of another hopefully sensible mind would be able to know my thoughts..would be learning about my world..
alien si shara?!?!?!?!
hahaha yun lang yung tungkol kahapon..corny no??
this day, ako nga si lady-miss-chief slash Lady Mischief..
ohh..the seven dwarfs??forget them..only Snow White has..and besides im normal enough to dislike the presence of seven horribly little creatures singing "Eyhoo-eyhoo..whatever!" at my back..goodness..
here we go again to goodness..the goodness gene..it's actually significantly related to kindness gene..buti nalang next week na ulit next meeting sa subject na yun..
kafka on the shore..grabe pagka-hook ko dito..akalain mong umuuwi ako nang maaga sa dorm para lang maaga ako mag-start ng pagbabasa nun!yun nga lang nakakatulugan ko na sya minsan..buti di nagugusot....i love the author's words..and the way it talks to my subconscious..what i don't like about it: scores ng quizzes ko at time ng pagpasok ko..