Beautiful stillness

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audentes fortuna juvat: until next time my dear lola..

ABOUT ME:

chalkleight

chalkleight

Los Banos, Laguna, Philippines

usually first impression s'kin mataray,masungit and the likes..uhm,sad to say totoo un kc hndi ako msyadong sociable unless there's something in one person that i really like..sbi ng mga close s'kin good listener dw ako but i think im better in ignoring what they are saying pero when i feel n kylangn mo tlga ng mkikinig sau game ako lalo n kung nkakarelate ako s topic mo..'yoko s mga self-proclaimed..those who say a lot 'bout themselves (who cares 'bout them,anyway?) hehehe..trip ko mga humorous kc moody ako..another thing 'bout me is ung temper ko..uhm,it's always at the edge, u knw what i mean..if u nid 2 knw more basahin mo mga testi s'kin kc im sure they say a lot of things 'bout me.. :]

https://www.blogger.com/profile/15896205344583116855

Friday, January 18, 2008

until next time my dear lola..

until next time my dear lola..

16 January 2008
11:45pm

Everything felt entirely different. Walking under a mournful sky with everyone in white, following a gray car with a coffin inside it and hearing Josh Groban’s “To Where You Are” in the background seemed so alien. I can’t seem to feel the annoyance of walking with my feet slightly wet due to light rain. Actually, I can’t seem to feel anything else but the difference of every moment.
It was my first time to attend a burial of an immediate family member. My first time to pay attention to everything that was happening from the moment that mint green coffin was carried out of the house until its entombment.
Many relatives came and sympathized.
Before the mass, I was told that I will be reading the first reading and the responsorial psalm. It felt so nice to do something for someone you love thinking that it will be the last time you will be able to serve her. Feeling conscious in front of those people, I know that Lola would have been so proud seeing her granddaughter dressed like a lady and acting like one.
Before the coffin was brought to the cemetery, we were still given a chance to let our cries out. Good thing nobody collapsed. My tears came slowly. I wiped them before each drop reach my cheeks. My sobs and red swollen eyes betrayed me. But I was not sad. The tears were for the memories with her. Those times that she spent adoring us..loving us..giving for us..sacrificing for us..she was such a wonderful gift from God.
The burial happened just like in the movies. Green grasses. Cool breeze. White roses. White and green balloons. Rectangular hole. Pulleys for the coffin. I know she loved it. She was entombed in a very nice place. She deserved to be treated that way.
When everything was finished we went home and continued the prayers. Exhaustion was really pressing everyone down. I was not able to pay attention. I was even sleeping by then. Lola surely understood me.
I left for school five hours ago. I do not want to hear more cries on the first night of my Lola’s absence. I do not want to see more of the agony. I am a coward, yes. But who would care? Everything is fine now.

Who can say for certain
Maybe you’re still here
I feel you all around me
Your memories so clear
Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You’re still an inspiration
Can it be (? )
That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above
Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are
Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn’t faith believing
All power can’t be seen
As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
cause you are mine
Forever love
Watching me from up above
And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave
Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are
I know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are

chalkleight

chalkleight

raem23_sha@yahoo.com

4:42 AM

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